Moth-er Fucker

by Dark Bishop

Living as a moth was not precisely one of the top 5 picks for a creature. You were closely related to butterflies, but unlike them, you looked like ass. Your life span was only a few months long, at the very best. You were also pretty much forced to feed on rotting trees and fruits, in addition to animal dungs and other such delicacies. Sure, you were bestowed the ability to fly, but when lots of your predators could fly as well (and faster than you too!), let’s say that flying was no longer as cool as it sounded. And then, there was the issue of the light. But we’ll get to that later.

My given moth name was Bhla, which is not great since 95% of our species are named Bhla, Bhle, Bhli or Bhlo. Moth royalty were blessed with nicer names, such as Bhlu and Jake. In any case, we always had a hard time trying to tell each other apart, which was annoying to say the least. Most moths would spend their lives flying around aimlessly, unwillingly feeding predators, eating crap here and there, scaring humans, and of course, helping to pollinate plants around the world. Unlike bees however, nobody seemed to give a rat’s ass for our help on this matter. I guess saving ecosystems was not as important if you could not produce honey as well. Anyhow, I was always looking for something else beyond these seemingly fun moth activities. Mom used to tell me to try and behave more like my older brothers, who couldn’t be more normal, but I hated that idea. I liked to believe I’d gotten my rebellious attitude from Dad. Who knows though, because I never met the guy. Mom probably ate him after she’d given birth to us or whatever.

It was a known fact of moth life that in addition to being eaten by our fearsome predators, we killed ourselves just as often. As the old saying went, “like a moth to a flame.” We were taught at larvae school to be wary of light, that we should embrace darkness instead. “Fly only when it’s dark, just to be on the safe side.” Because you see, apparently there was no way to know if light would kill you or not. That’s just great isn’t it? For this reason, moths usually never ventured outside their safe zones. But like I said, I was a bit of a rebel, and so I decided to leave my family and our safe zone at the mature age of 17 days old.

To be fair, it wasn’t a totally unheard of fact for our kind to leave their homes in search of different places, but they usually didn’t accomplish much, nor went too far. For example, one of our cousins had ventured inside a big shiny box where humans lived, never to come out again. Some of our friends had theorized that the humans took him as a pet, but I suspected something else. I refused to end up like that, and so, I made up my mind to stay away from humans and bright objects. My goal was to reach the fabled Lake Stink. Humans didn’t go near Lake Stink, but I couldn’t imagine why.

I met several flying bugs on the way to the lake. Mostly mosquitoes. I sort of liked mosquitoes, because unlike butterflies, I thought that they were ugly and misunderstood, just like us. I decided to introduce myself.

‘Goot ev’ning my mates. Me name’s Bhla the 33rd and I seeks Lake Stink,’ I said, trying my best to imitate their stylish language.

­‘Yo piss off mate,’ they said.

‘Nice talking to y’all bastards,’ I replied.

After that, I didn’t care too much for mosquitoes. Fuck them bloodsuckers. But similar conversations took place with other nocturnal beings time after time. I learned that moths were not the only egotistical and rude insects. Good to know. I started to feel for the first time that I was completely on my own. Suddenly, I craved the sweet cow shit filled landscape where mom and my brothers were surely feasting. I was beginning to despair, when I saw the most peculiar thing. A tiny light was floating on top of a small puddle. I had avoided all sources of light until that point, but I couldn’t keep my gaze off this one. Without realizing it, I flew towards the small shiny dot. As I grew close I realized that it was another flying bug.

‘Don’t stare at me like that, you rude brute’ the strange insect said to me.

‘Ohhh… s-sorry!’ I said. ‘ What are you?’

‘My name is Clara, and I am a firefly. You’re ugly as fuck. What is your name?’

Was the firefly a she?! I was too dumbfounded to be insulted.

‘I… My name is Bhla,’ I managed to say.

‘What kind of name is Blah?,’ she giggled.

‘Not Blah, I’m Bhla! It’s totally different! And many moth heroes have shared this name, mind you!,’ I cried.

‘I didn’t know you moths had heroes.’

We didn’t of course. ‘Well, now you do!’ I lied. ‘Why is your ass shining like that, are you crazy? An owl or something nastier will spot you immediately.’

‘Duh, you moths are so ignorant. Owls won’t dare eat us fireflies because we are toxic to them. Besides, I shine because I want to. Now get out of my way!’ she said with an air of authority that surprised me. I should have been angry with her. But I was rather bedazzled, quite literally. I had never seen such a pretty bug in my life. She flew away slowly, but then I called to her.

‘Say Clara… do you know the way to Lake Stink?’

She stopped immediately.

‘Of course I do! But I’m never going back there,’ she shouted.

‘Why not? I’ve heard it’s such a cool place. You really can’t go wrong with a name like that!’

‘Because the other fireflies that live over there are stupid, just like you’.

And then she was gone. But my resolve to reach Lake Stink only grew stronger.

‘Firefly paradise, here I come!’


(End of Part 1)